Why Do I.... Well Just Maybe.....

Why do I share my story?

 

Why do I want to be a possible light in someone else’s dark place?

 

Why do I want to be looking at this side of a computer screen hoping the person on the other side reading what I have typed gets that little bit of encouragement they need to help them through a situation?

As I shrug my shoulders…. I have a lot of “maybe” answers….

 

Maybe it is because I have been at that same place of being numb, my brain so clouded, I could not think straight. Not from drugs or alcohol. From the person who broke my spirit and led me to believe I was useless and worthless.

Maybe it is because I have realized my value and I finally got myself pulled back together. I worked on my broken pieces daily to become the person I lost and yet found her again.

Maybe it is because I needed to be inspired in those lowest points of my life. No matter where I turned, how many inspirations quotes I Googled, how many Facebook pages I scrolled through, how many Instagram memes I liked, I could never find the inspiration I needed. No one was able to help me out of my dark corners.

Maybe it is because I need to share my inspiration to someone who might see what I have to share to show them life does get better. I may be the only positive they see.

Maybe it is because I have walked in those shoes personally and I can relate to the pain, the tears, the hurt; the feeling of abandonment, uselessness, worthlessness.

Maybe it is because I needed to be the person God used to show someone else there is hope beyond your current circumstances. Things do get better. It may not be overnight, or instantly, like we want them due to our lack of patience. Even when the load is heavy and you are barely making it, God is there with you carry the weight. When you are at your lowest and feel alone, He is right there waiting with His arms open wide.

Maybe it is because I got my fight back this morning… My purpose back… My fire back… when I opened my eyes. I know it is time to make a difference even if it is in the life of one person. I need to be their reason to pick up the pieces and move forward!!!

There's More To Life

Going thru the Facebook memories today, this was a post I has written in 2012. Three years later, I have seen where I have taken my own advice and took those chances even though I was scared out of my mind. It is humbling to see what you can do when you have God in your corner and just enough gumption to try one time.

"There IS more to life than being so crippled by your fears and other things that seemingly hold you back. Fear of failure. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of rejection. Hearing you can't accomplish this or that. There is a great big world out there with lots of amazing things waiting on you to find them. It takes getting out of your comfort zone and taking a chance. The odds may seem to be against you may seem big, but remember you have GOD inside of you that make you bigger!!! God is your biggest cheerleader and He wants nothing but good for you... You are His and He wants nothing less than HIS best for you!!!  Just remember when it seems like the whole world may be against you, you have The One who holds this whole world in His hands!!"

Bumble Bee or Guardian Angel

Bumble bee or Guardian angel... They both have wings so they are pretty much the same thing. 

The picture that probably stalled me long enough to save my life  from a head on collision on the way to work this morning....

I had carried my niece to school & went back home to do a few things around the house. On my way to work I stopped to take a few pictures of the pretty purple flowers in the ditch. Then I noticed a caterpillar and got more pics. Got in my truck, glanced back, & saw the bumble bee. I jumped out again and watched the bee that God had sent to keep me there a little longer.

I have a weakness and an appreciation for all of God's creations. I love nature. I love the outdoors. I love capturing nature in it's natural element. I will stop and take pictures on the side of the road at any given time. That's the benefits of living on Georgia dirt roads way out in the country.

After leaving the bumble bee and continuing with my route to work, I made it and turned right in the paved road. As my neighbors know, there is a series of sharp S curves before you reach where the old white house burned down. These are blind curves as well. I was still on the straight away before entering curve when I noticed this vehicle coming at me as it was coming out of last curve which is also a slight hill. I knew it looked a little too close to my side of the road so I slowed down. As she got out of the curve and on top of the incline she was completely in my lane. The only thing I could do was run completely off the road to save myself from being hit head on. The bumble bee kept me from being in those blind spots and most likely being hit head on or ran off the road at a higher rate of speed.

God goes before us. He knows what lies ahead of us. He is our protector and our guide. He guides our footsteps. And I will again say God has proven His word again by saying my travelling scripture Psalm 139:9-10. "If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

#God #psalm #protector #guide #nature

My Most Prized Possession

August 19, 2008... Today makes seven short years that the greatest man I ever knew, my precious Daddy left this temporary home called earth and gained his angel wings so he could watch over me and the rest of my family from those streets of gold. 

My hero... My first love... My Superman... 

One of the most valuable possessions in my life because to me the story behind it shows how priceless it is... if it's only to me. It appeared at a time when I needed it most. And if you are family and know how it got where it did when I found it, please don't change my story. I want to believe it was put there for a reason.

On Tuesday, August 19, 2008, I lost my Daddy to pneumonia and complications with cancer. It was not the cancer that took him. He had already beaten Stage 4 liver, lung, and bronchial cancer the year before. Was on the way to beating the brakes off brain cancer when the pneumonia set in and fluid was behind the cancer scar tissue where it couldn't be seen. That week was one of ups and downs. My mother's name is Faye. There was a tropical storm brewing and spinning off the Georgia coast that was named "Tropical Storm Fay". Of all the names they had to name it Faye, which to us was kind of comical.

On Wednesday, we went to Sim's Funeral Home to make the arrangements. Most of those, Daddy had already taken care of due to his first diagnosis the year before. Since Mom lived in Douglas and my brother out of town, I was the one who took the stake to mark the plot in the cemetery for the upcoming burial. I just needed to have it out there before Saturday morning. I had gone by the cemetery every day that week at some point during the day and just sat there dreading the events about to take place in a few short days. I sat bedside my Granny Doris & Papa Ott's tombstones everyday and talked to them. Talked to Daddy even though he wasn't out there yet. I sat on the very edge of Granny's headstone every time I went out there.

On early Friday morning, through the tears and the thunderstorms, I headed out there to put the stake in its proper place to get everything in order for the next morning. As I was walking up to the grave site, I noticed something different about my usual spot. The was something there waiting for me. As I got closer and realized what it was, as I picked it up, I completely lost it. I began crying uncontrollably as I had done many times that week. As I picked up the silver necklace with the silver heart charm on it, I knew it had been placed there just for me. The charm is a heart inside of a heart. To me that represents that no matter the time or the distance, Daddy will always be there with me inside my heart. It was comforting to know I had that assurance he knew what I was going thru and watching me from the heavens.

I bump into people around town who always tell me good stories about my Daddy. To hear how much everyone thought of him and respected him makes my heart swell with pride every single time. One thing's for very sure, he left an amazing legacy behind. Proud I got to call him my Daddy!

I have several other blog posts in storage I've been sitting on for several years. Like this one, it is hard to type through the tears. Thinking I may need to get the out and attempt to post them very soon.

I miss his smile, his laugh, his blue eyes, his boots walking across the wooden front porch when he was getting home from a long run, his Old Spice cologne, his green Speed Stick by Mennen deodorant smell fill the house as he was getting ready to leave out on another run, his green Irish Spring soap, his 2 liter Diet Pepsi in the fridge, just every thing about him.

He had a way of making every one around him feel like someone important. He never let you feel like less of a person no matter what your social or financial status. He saw everyone as an equal.

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I will be doing a separate blog soon on this song by Cole Swindell. I have a blog I wrote after my first visit back to the cemetery to visit Daddy's grave too. It is only two miles from my house. Until then, you need to watch the new video by Cole. This is an amazing testament of  raw emotion when you go back the first, the second, and even the trillionth time.... Amazing video!!!

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The other day a friend of mine who works at a radio station posted this song by Craig Campbell on his page. I was the one who needed to hear that song at that moment. It is called "Outskirts of Heaven." It reminds me so much of Daddy and exactly what I expect he's been doing up there for seven years. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

https://www.facebook.com/CraigCampbelltv/videos/vb.342573381119/10152996047071120/?type=2&theater

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Three of my favorite things in one picture. 

My Daddy, an amazing south Georgia sunset, and a church steeple.

Perfectly timed photo.

Tim Tebow Celebrity Golf Classic - 2013

1 Corinthians 13:13

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

On the afternoon of Thursday, April 4, 2013, just after 5:40 p.m. I sat down at the computer to check my emails just one more time before the end of the day.  It was the week of Prom 2013 for Coffee High School and I was exhausted. The week had been crazy and wide open and was beginning to slow down a little bit. I plopped myself down on the stool behind the counter and spun around to log on to the computer. I decided to check my emails just in case there was a last minute emergency I needed to see about. There at the top of the email inbox was the most recent message, which happened to be from the “Tim Tebow Foundation”.  I will say, at first I thought it was just another newsletter from the foundation. I enjoy reading the newsletters and to see positive things going on in life. I proceeded to read it like I always do.

Well then I read the line "At this time, we are able to still accommodate 50 additional volunteers to serve as our hospitality greeters for the event. If you are interested in volunteering, please respond via email. Positions will be filled on a first-come, first-served basis."

I knew he had the annual foundation’s “Celebrity Golf Classic” coming up in the near future and I had contemplated going to volunteer. With the event being so close to prom, I was unsure of being able to leave the shop for the whole day. He hosts “The Celebrity Golf Classic” which is held in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, just outside of Jacksonville. The golf course has been in the headlines since Tiger Woods just won a recent tournament at The Player’s Championship Saw Grass Golf Course. It is a beautiful golf course to say the very least.  

It had been a while since I had a true full day off from work and time off was very much needed. I will be the first one to say, I was overdue of a break. Let’s see, a mini-day vacation which could entail me to help a foundation who has a mission to help kids? As I sat on the stool behind my counter, I leaned back to be in ear and eye shot of Mom and said “So, you think I can have next Saturday off to go and volunteer with the Tim Tebow Foundation at a golf tournament just outside of Jacksonville?” I think I was stating more that I was going than I was asking! She looked at me and said “Sure, why not!”

There was that “first 50 people to respond” factor. You had to be one of the first fifty people to respond to be considered for the volunteer position. I mean, it won’t hurt to try. The worst they could tell me is “no, all positions have been filled at this time.”

I began checking my email about every hour over the course of two days. Finally, I got the response I was hoping for. I was chosen to work in the hospitality area of the event. The only thing required was to represent the Tim Tebow Foundation by being a smiling presence amongst the crowd of event attendees. This seemed to be a little too easy. I love to be around people so this role was perfect.

The trip...

As soon as the work day was completed on the Friday before the event, I was headed out to spend the night in Jacksonville. Got to the hotel and checked in. To be honest, it was very hard to go to sleep because of the excitement I knew would be surrounding the day. Of course, five o’clock in the morning came very early.

I arrived at the golf course at 7:30 a.m. and registered to fulfill my job title for the day. At the volunteer tent, I met Haley who works with the Foundation. We didn’t have a specific area we had to be stationed at throughout the day. Just walk around and greet people. Answer any questions they may have.

It is not about the celebrity status surrounding the event. It is not about who I might meet. It is all about the ability to help serve an organization that is reaching out to help bring change to the life of a child who is in need. That is my purpose. When I go to volunteer at various events, I treat it as if it were a real job. Guess that is the business owner inside of me coming out. I don't use my badge or my job to get me outside of what I am there to work for. I look at the event as if I were an employee and I am there to get a job done. I am usually the one taking pictures every chance I get.

My favorite thing to do is I love to people watch. You learn things during those observations and you can take those lessons with you. I can tell you in detail 90% of what happened that day from 7:30 a.m. until 6:00 p.m.. Two observations I made during the day are the ones which made the biggest impact.

At the last hole, I did get to meet Jason Michael Carroll and his wife Wendy. They are just as friendly as one would expect them to be. I did get to have my picture made with them. 

As many of you know, I had a stalker in 2011 for two weeks. Those two weeks completely changed my life. I notice more of my surroundings. I remember where and when I see someone. This day was no different. In a way, in this case, is a good thing.

The Little Boy...

Throughout the day, I had noticed a little fellow probably no older than eight. You could tell by the way he was dressed, they probably didn't have a whole lot. His pants were a little short. His shoes a little worn. Not being judgmental here I promise. He was there with his mom and a gentleman. He had on his cute little glasses and he reminded me of a dark haired Stuart Little. I had seen him during the day at different areas on the golf course. He was trying his best to get an autograph from "Timmy". I had watched him go up to the ropes at different times hoping to meet Tim.

At this point in the day, we were at the 17th Hole or the Island Green shot. He was getting antsy because he had to see Timmy. Since I had a volunteer shirt on, I was hoping I would get someone on Tim's entourage attention.  The boy's mom was going up the side of the slope to sit down. He refused to go sit down. So, I spoke up and told her "Just let him stay here with me. I will keep my eye on him I promise. You can trust me and I will do my best to get him an autograph." Of course his eyes lit up and he began begging her "Please mama pleaseeeeeeeeee." We would be only 200 yards from her so she agreed. 

Within a few minutes, you could see Tim's team coming around the pond from Hole 16. The little boy was so excited! As the golf cart rounded the top of the hill he began hitting me on the leg trying to get my attention. When the cart came to a stop, we were only 6 feet from Tim who was getting off of the cart and into a waiting crowd. We watched and he waited patiently. Then Tim's PR guy (I guess) came around to get a club for Tim. I leaned back where the little boy couldn't see me and started waving to get his attention. When I got it, I started pointing at the little guy who was standing on edge watching Tim's every move. I winked at the guy and he gave me nod as he walked back over to where Tim was lost in the crowd. A few minutes later, the guy started back to where we were with something in his hand. 

Quite honestly, every time I tell this part of the story and even as I am typing this out, I get teary eyed.... The guy came over to us and bent down to talk to the little guy. He said "Tim wanted me to tell you thank you for coming out today and being here. He also wanted me to give you this he signed just for you. Hope you like it." The little boy squealed and took off to his mom screaming "I got a signed football card from Timmy. Timmy signed and sent me a football card." Welp, I got all misty eyed on the side of the green. The guy looked at me, I nodded and told him thank you!!! That day is one day the cute little boy and myself will never forget.

The Little Girl...
I would say somewhere about the third or fourth hole, I began to see a tween aged girl (between 10 - 13) who was going around with her family consisting of her mother and two younger brothers. She was not hard to miss due to the fact she had on a baseball cap and a pair of white shorts. The hardest thing not to miss was the fact of the full length leg brace she was wearing. It went completely from ankle to hip. I began seeing her more and more as the day passed. 

After the event was over, after all the golfers had returned in, after all the autographs were signed, after all the golf balls were dropped, I was standing on a curb outside the Saw Grass facility just looking over the green thinking about the day as it had flown by. Slowly coming off the green and headed to the facility, there was the girl and her family. It had been a long, tiring day. As they got closer you could hear her younger brother in the agony of a six year old "How much further do we have to walk? My feet hurt. I am tired. I am hot. I want something to drink. Where is the car? Mommmmmmmm tote me please!!!!!!" Shame on me I know, but I chuckled a bit as I heard the list of complaints and demands as he was "huffing and puffing" along. 

Then his mother stopped him and said something I would have never guessed. Sure, with the ball cap and the leg brace, I knew she had some form of disability. I did not want to ask but I assumed to know. She simply said "Why are you complaining? What do you have to complain about? At least you have ALL the bones in your leg. Your sister is missing a bone and has had to sling a brace around all day. The brace is heavy. I don't hear her saying anything about being tired or complaining. Your legs are just a little shorter and are having to take more steps. Just keep going, we are almost there." She was not being rude of short by any means.

At that very moment, I realized just how blessed we are. We may have aches and pains, but at least we have all our bones. As I walked back to my truck, I began to start thanking God for all He has done in my life. For good health. Once in the truck, I just sat there and began to cry. My mind went to most church services and I had a revelation.

The next morning with the permission of the Pastor's wife, I spoke what was I felt lead to say after I did my pre-service announcements. This may not be word for word how I said it, but I can remember looking from the stage of the church and thinking I am about to either get an "amen" or I am going to be thinking "ohhhhh-me". 

I asked the congregation to stand. Then I began a series of "Do you have your left leg, left foot, and all five toes on your foot? Well, give it a shake. Do you have your right leg, right foot, and all five toes on your foot? Well, give it a shake too. Do you have your left arm, left hand, and all five fingers? Well, raise it up and wave it at me. Do you have your right arm, right hand, and all five fingers? Well, raise it up and wave it at me too. Do you have all the bones in all four limbs? Well, if you do you have no excuse to be sitting down during praise and worship with your arms crossed and your bottom lip rolled out like you have just sucked a lemon. How dare us take all these things we have and sit there like a knot on a log. We are a truly blessed people. Why can't we show God our gratitude by giving Him honor where honor is due?" Then I went into the story of the little girl. There were a lot of "amens". Yes, there were still some I was wondering if a tomato was going to get tossed my way as I grabbed my microphone and took my place on the praise team for praise and worship. 

The Tim Tebow...
Through out the day, wherever "Timmy" was located, you could find the largest group of people gathered round. He was always smiling. He was making conversation with those who were there watching and those playing with him. He kept interacting with the crowd. Not one time did I see him push anyone away. He posed for pictures after his shots. He took time to thank everyone for coming out. As a matter of fact, if I remember correctly, he was an hour and a half behind the team ahead of him. Even though they were pushing him to hurry, he still took extra time to stop and greet people. 

I personally didn't meet Timmy, but I walked away with some great life lessons that day. Two years later, telling the stories still makes my heart swell with pride I was there helping out that day!!!

For more pictures of that day, here is my album posted on Facebook.
https://www.facebook.com/windi.raper/media_set?set=a.472155239520745.1073741833.100001788188795&type=3

I Thought I Saw A Ghost.... I Did, I Did!!!

If you follow me on my other social media accounts, you know I am a person who loves to take lots and lots of pictures of anything that catches my eye. Secondly, you know I am a huge nature watcher, especially the things in the sky. I love to capture the right pictures of sunrises, sunsets, clouds, moon rises, planets, skydivers (wait, yes we divers qualify as nature things in the sky too!).

I could spend all day outside with my camera clicking away. At night, when it's a clear night and the moon is shining bright, I could stay in a hammock all night if it weren't for these south Georgia mosquitoes (or skeeters). And snakes. And coyotes. And other mysterious things that make sounds and you get chills down your spine along with cotton mouth, heart racing, sweaty palms, and all blood flow literally stops. You could say fear sets in very comfortably! 

There's this one spot on our dirt road that is wide open fields on both sides. So there's a great view of the heavenly light shows. I've put a notice out to all my neighbors, if you see my truck or get a call about a vehicle parked by your property taking pictures at all kinds of hours. I am the guilty person. I usually put my truck in park in the middle of the road, turn off the ignition and head lights, roll the window down, and sit on the door to get some shots. Usually have ole Betsy right beside me. 

I live in good old southeast Georgia. Rural Georgia. In the great wide open of the finest of country living. Farm life. Country living beats city living. No question about it. While sitting on the side of my truck capturing the perfect shot, I'm bad about zoning out my surroundings and forgetting where I'm at. One night during a full moon escapade, close to midnight, there I was lost in keeping the camera perfectly still balancing my elbows on the hood. Adjusting the lighting in the camera. All of a sudden, above the crickets and the frogs, there was a loud "phhhhbbbbbb" followed by a faint "moooooooo". Panic attack in full blown mode. I think my heart still beats out of rhythm to this day. How could I forget the cows were there?!

The next week I had to call the farmer / landowner where the cows have residence about something else. However,  I did mention my cow scare. As I was done telling my story, he chuckled and said "I thought you were going to tell me you'd seen the glowing blue light rising in the trees." 

Stop the music. Hold on... What did you just say?! And you said it calmly. Could you repeat yourself? I said "do what? What you mean a light in the trees?!?!?" 

He replied with "you've been raised here your whole life and never heard about the light?" 

"Ummmmmmm, nope" was all I could muster out. 

He tells me "You know that patch of trees that was behind you while you we taking pictures? Well there's a mysterious blue light that only rises at a certain time of the year. I've seen it twice. My niece has seen it. And so has so and so.  I was on my tractor one night plowing the field and I saw it rising and it got up to about half the trees and it just sat there until I left. Then I seen it again. I've always heard it was there when I was growing up. But I know it's there. In that patch of woods is a single grave. That's all I know. But I was hoping you had seen it too!"

My response. .."Negative. Nope. No way. I'm moving. End of story. And no more pictures at night there.  You've just ruined it for me." Should I doubt him? No, he's never lied to me before. I know some things can not be explained. 

He began to tell me other places out here with weird scenarios. One I had heard off before. Then taking with another neighbor, the story has been around for years. 

End of story....

Ever since I heard that story, when I pass by that field I try not to look over that way. But curiosity always gets the best of me. Thank the Lord I've never seen a thing! Don't know what I'd do if I did. But I did tell a fib. That is best place to take pictures, so I still stop and click away. 

Fast forward to Friday night. Here I was riding on the dirt road headed home. Minding my own business. Singing along with my Chris Young CD. Had just passed "that" field. No signs of anything. When I noticed the field across from it, which has a group of trees in it too, with a light about "halfway up the trees just sitting there." Oh boy did I slam on brakes in a hurry. I sat there for about 15 - 30 seconds and decided I was "brave enough" to pass by it.

Our main dirt road has a lot of side roads on it. Some views are blocked due to trees and overgrowth of weeds as to what could be PARKED at stop sign. As I got closer,  I finally to see the semi that was parked Just before the end of the road at the stop sign. His head lights were causing my mini heart attack as they were shining ever so brightly on the trees as if were floating in the one spot.

Through out my almost 40 years of being here on this great planet. I am thankful nothing has ever happened around me I couldn't explain. I've had a few family members have things happen to them at their houses couldn't be explained. But I've learned a valuable lesson. Don't listen to scary stories. Even as brave as I am sometimes, I'm still a big ole fraidy cat sometimes too!

The Psalm 139:9-10 Reminder

Psalm 139:9-10 reads...

"If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

I am a person who loves to travel. I love a road trip. Guess my parents named me correctly when they chose the name "Windi". The name "Windi" can't be found in most places, so I use the equivalent being "Wendy." The meaning of that name is "wanderer", "traveler", "friend", "family". Give me a good reason, I will be packed and ready to ride in a few minutes. My Daddy was an over the road truck driver, so yeah, it is in my blood too!

I am reminded when things don't go quite as planned, God has a reason behind it. He allows things to happen to keep me safe from harm. He protects me in ways I will most likely never know. I never get upset when I am delayed for whatever reason. 

Two weeks ago I was preparing for a road trip to the Charlotte, North Carolina, area for a week of NASCAR events. It was going to be a big week for me. Plans were to leave by lunch on Tuesday so I could get a good nights rest before Wednesday. See on Wednesday, plans were to meet with Ms. Tammy Kahne (mother of NASCAR Driver Kasey Kahne) to discuss and create some balloon decor at Kasey Kahne Racing & Foundation headquarters. On Thursday, Fan Day was to be held at Kasey Kahne Racing & Foundation with an autograph session with Kasey, Brad Sweet, and Daryn Pittman. So I was pressed for time to get there and get the balloon decor for the event completed and set! Then the rest of the week was Pole Race, Xfinity Race, and the Sprint Cup Race. A much needed vacation I needed to clear my head. 

On Monday, I finally made it to get an oil change and front end alignment. Not a biggie. But over the weekend, I had noticed my truck temperature was kinda on the higher side than usual. I just blamed it on the higher temperatures we were having in south Georgia. Wrong, very wrong. Heading home after work, the temperatures went way over to the point of possibly blowing your motor up if it didn't cool down. I was able to make it to a friend of mine's home. Her husband and son came to my rescue once again. Truck cooled down and we found the culprit once we removed the radiator cap. At some point, StopLeak had been placed into the radiator and it had finally boiled loose less than 12 hours before I wanted to be on the road. Then there was the water pump leak. Bright and early Tuesday morning, I was headed back to the mechanic for some last minute unexpected work.

Even with all the obstacles that kept showing up and delaying the trip a little bit, I see now why they all played out like they did. Had I been on the road any earlier, I could have been half way to Charlotte stranded on the side of the road with a motor that could have blown up while I was travelling if I hadn't noticed the temperatures. I am thankful God was looking out for me again before I even set out on the trip.

Secondly, most know I had an experience with a stalker in 2011. It absolutely changed my life. I notice more things and people. I try to read people. I know my surroundings. I know when something has been moved out of place. I know who I can and can't trust immediately. The gut instinct kicks in.

During the trip, a friend of mine who was also up for the race, had seen on social media I was there. So after inboxes and texts, he and I finally got it arranged and met up as soon as the race was over. We were with some of my family from Charlotte enjoying the Speed Street festivities. Guess because I felt "safe" and "comfortable" or blame it on the NASCAR hype still, I let my guard down a little lower than normal. 

To make a long story short, I had noticed a particular person a day or so before. Just in a glance as I passed them at my hotel. My family had left where we all were in downtown Charlotte and we were headed to meet up with them later. I am standing there alone and that same guy passes by and says "are you lost? You are that girl from Georgia staying in Room 215 aren't you?" I think all the blood flowed out of my body and I was paralyzed yet again with the wake up call because fear was knocking. It is one thing to know I stay at the same hotel as you, but for you to know my room number, you have paid too much attention. I don't even remember seeing him on my floor which makes it even worse on my part. I was quick to respond back with "No I am not lost. I know my where I am staying. And so does my husband who finally made it in today." Lord forgive me for telling a fib. I asked for repentance that night I promise. In a circumstance such as that, I think the Lord understands! 

He said "yeah, I seen him" then quickly left as soon as he could. At this point I knew God sent that friend I have not seen in years to be at the right place and at the right time.

I was then thankful for my post on my social media accounts which may have saved me from something later on during my stay. I am especially grateful for the friend who showed up in Charlotte. Even though we only live an hour or so from each other, to find each other in Charlotte over 6 hours a way was a blessing in disguise for me.

God always has my back. He always looks out for me even when I am preoccupied and don't pay attention to my surroundings. He will even let my vehicle start having problems so I can get it fixed locally before I get hours away and stranded on the side of the road. His hand holds me fast and protects me in so many ways.

I pray this prayer when I travel. This Scripture means a lot to me. I have blogged about it before. When I got back home from my trip, I opened up Facebook to see where Renee Swope of Proverbs 31 Ministries had shared this. I was reminded of the vehicle problems and my friend. How I made it from little ole Broxton, Georgia, to Charlotte, North Carolina, and back to Broxton, Georgia, safe and sound. All 1,027.6 miles I was taken care of!!

When You Get A No, Don't Stop There

A few weeks ago, I contacted a company about an event they were having. I was sales pitching my balloon decor business. There response was a simple "sorry, at this time... yada yada yada." So I tucked my tail under for about 10 minutes and I decided I could do something bigger than them. This "no" gave me the push I needed to aim my sights just a little bit higher. The old saying "go big or go home" was my push.

I have taken my own advice today and am learning the hard way that "if you never ask a question, the answer will always be no." 

One of the best pieces of advice I got was from Mr. Jim who worked at Clayton Homes in Waycross when I worked in manufactured housing sales. I had called him repeatedly asking petty questions when I began ordering new houses from him. One phone call I opened it up with "I got another dumb question". His immediate response to me was "the only dumb question there is, is the one that is never asked because you will never know the answer". That has stuck with me for over 15 years!

Life is about taking chances, taking risks, dreaming big, and living with a vision in front of you that is pushing you on and giving you determination. 

When you are given a "no", don't sit and dwell on the "no". It just simply means it was not for you to do. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to appreciate you. That is life. Don't take it as setting yourself up for a fall. Don't listen to fear and let doubt hold you back. You were meant for more than you ever could think or imagine!!!

Don't be your own worst critic! Don't allow yourself to cut and sell yourself short!! The "yes" you are wishing for is only on the other side of the question mark!!! 

So what if you try something and you fail. At least you had the guts enough to try something no one else has done!!!! I proved that point today. You don't know what people are out there looking for you and your work. How do I know? Out of all the people in America that could do what I did today, the company had been thinking about it but wasn't sure what to do about it. Today, I put myself there to get myself out there. If all goes according to plan, I will be there in a few months!!!

But when you get a no, don't stop there!! Don't give up!! Go forward even harder and dream bigger. Branch out. Spread your wings. Let your passion outweigh your fears. Dare to dream... And FLY!!! BIG things are coming in 2015!!!! #CarriedAwayCreations #RoadTrip #Phillipians413 

Rainy Day Blooms

Tuesday

February 24, 2015 

9:45 a.m.

In our front yard, we have one lone plum tree. It is an offspring of the ones my Granny Doris had planted many years ago. The ones she used to make fresh plum jelly with every year. I miss those days of playing in the kitchen with her making all those old family recipes. I live in her house and sometimes when I am cooking her famous Crisco Pound Cakes I can feel her smiling at me over my shoulder. 

The past couple of days here in south Georgia have been cloudy with rain every day. It was misting rain this morning as I was leaving for work. As I was backing up to leave, this one branch in the middle of the younger plum tree that was bursting forth in bloom. The other branches still only have the small buds. We are in transition from winter to spring here. Friday of last week, we had temperatures in the teens that morning. By Sunday it was a beautiful day in the high 70's.

This one branch that stood out among the others caught my attention. I had to get a picture. I didn't take the time at home to see the end result of what I had captured. Once at the store while on the phone with a sales rep, I decided to open up my photo gallery and see what was there. Originally, I had snapped the photo so quickly, I did not notice the rain drops on the flowers. They almost look like dew drops. My mind automatically went to this Chapter in the Bible. I have taken this passage from www.biblegateway.com.

Deuteronomy 32:1-5 (Message Translation)

The Song

"Listen, Heavens, I have something to tell you.

Attention, Earth, I've got a mouth full of words.

My teaching, let it fall like a gentle rain, 

     my words arrive like morning dew,

Like a sprinkling rain on new grass,

     like spring showers on the garden.

For it's God's Name I'm preaching -

     respond to the greatness of our God!

The Rock: His works are perfect,

     and the way He works is fair and just;

A God you can depend upon, no exceptions,

     a straight-arrow God."

Sometimes it is the simplest of things God puts in our path to remind us of His word. He speaks in many ways for us if we would just take the time to see and hear what He is saying. I needed to read this Scripture today as a reminder of "His works are perfect... A God you can depend upon, no exceptions." To fully rely on God and know that I can depend on Him and know His word will come to pass. It is never in our timing, always in His timing. You just have to turn it over to Him once and for all when He has told you repeatedly "I got this." 

Taking My Time

(Posted on 02/10/2015)

Most everyone knows a little bit about my "being single" story. It is something I am very open about. But lately I've been having those heart to hearts with myself, God, and friends of "why I am still single." It was triggered by a song I heard on WBYZ 94.5 out of Baxley, Georgia, one day when I was helping a customer.

I love music. I love the messages in the songs. I love the stories they tell. I heard this line which really caught my attention. It is one of those songs that speak to you.  I wrote it down so I could go back and listen to the whole song later when my customer was gone. The line was "I don't have to take your heart, I just wanna take your time." So I Googled the part I remembered and my search landed me on another Georgia native, Sam Hunt. Sam is known for writing some amazing songs in country music. Kenny Chesney, Keith Urban, Billy Currington are some of the artists who have taken his songs to the top of the charts. Then I searched for the lyrics of the song.... Next stop was YouTube search to listen to the song in its entirety...

My story... February 1997

I had met and fallen in love with this guy in my early twenties. Funny thing is, we dated longer than most couples stay married these days. After a long term relationship and which included a long term engagement, I finally called the relationship to an end. I had blinders on my eyes for many years. I was one of those statistics you read about and think when you are younger "I'll never be one of those who takes any form abuse from a man..."

Never say never.

I experienced the emotional, physical, mental, jealous and controlling abuse for many years. The very stuff I swore I'd never allow happen to me, happened until I became this empty shell of a person who never thought she was good enough, looked good enough, could never do anything right, and had lost all confidence in her very existence. The jealously made me lose friendships. Lost time with family I'll never be able to get back. Since I was "not good enough", my thought process turned to something he would always throw in to cut me even lower "who else out there do you think will want you if you leave me?" I heard it so much I believed if I left him, no one else would even look my way. It's a mind game. After hearing it so long, you believe it. It's like you become literally brainwashed. Then when family and friends try to convince you of how much you don't deserve to be going thru the hell you are allowing to take place, you still don't leave. So you stay and just keep numbly going thru life one day at a time.

After this unhealthy relationship ended in November 2010, there was a wall I built up so high and thick the world's greatest militia couldn't tear it down. I was never going to allow any one to get close to me and hurt me again. I was finally free from the pain and misery, no one was going to have the chance to be given the power to pull me down to that level ever again. I deserved better.

Sure there were good times, but somehow you always remember the weight of the pain strapped to your back as it is packed tightly in a backpack you haul around with you. Even beneath all the negative, I truly loved the guy who stole my heart for almost 14 years. Was it hard to walk away from? Very much so. I knew way down deep as I began to find who I was again, I deserved better for me. As I walked away, I decided then and there I would never be vulnerable enough to fall in love like that again.

Remember, never say never.

There is something about a wall in the physical world versus the emotional realm. In the physical, it takes weeks or even months to build walls for buildings being built. All of the reinforcements have to be in place to make it structurally sound. There is no room for failure. Then when it is time for new construction, it only takes a tenth of the time to completely demolish the wall. Longer to build, quick to tear down.

In the emotional side of a wall's construction, it is just the opposite. Once you've been hurt, you can throw a wall up in a matter of seconds to protect and guard your heart from any future heart break and hurt. You refuse to allow anyone to have the chance to make you feel vulnerable again and risk having your heart torn completely out and served on a silver platter. It is like your heart is protected not only by walls, add a few moats filled with piranhas and alligators, drawbridges, razor sharp rolled wire fences, dragons, well you get the picture. The kings of Medieval times would be proud of how safe your have protected your heart. No one is ever going to get close enough for you to trust them with you. Therefore their mission of "just let me try" could take months (years) before you ever let them anywhere near your heart.

Then you grab life's remote control and speed things up a bit... Two years later... You cross paths with someone who completely takes you by surprise. One of those kind that hits you broadsided and you have no idea where it came from moments. You weren't looking. For six months you keep your distance because you are still wanting to keep your heart on top of Mt. Everest and not give this guy a chance. He is persistent. Each incoming text message tempts you just a little bit to give him at least one date. He deserves at least one date for all the effort he has put forth.

By no means whatsoever is he anything like the ghost from the past that haunts your present. In fact, he is everything you have ever prayed for and it honestly scares you. You know how easy it would be to fall for him. So you have now added an army of foot soldiers to the exterior of the stone walls of your heart. You have to protect yourself no matter what. He is handsome. He is sweet. He is honest. Has a great personality. He's Prince Charming disguised as a good old south Georgia boy in blue jeans and a t-shirt. **sigh**

Then you finally agree to go on a date after you've let your defenses down by removing half of the troops. It is only one date. You can't fall that easily. Right?!  But there is something about this man. He is different in a good way. Each incoming text puts a smile on your face. The sun shines brighter. The days seem like they have a new purpose and a new meaning. He puts the confidence you had once lost in yourself back into play. You feel like a brand new person. You have started letting the walls down a little at the time. One date turns into another date. Then another. Then it is almost a year later. One day you wake up and realize you have pretty much fallen for him. Then all of a sudden, here comes the broken record of the heart break, heart ache playing yet again.

All of the walls go up rather quickly this time. The emotions of all the previous break up resurface. There is the dreaded broken heart. There is this jaded and apathetic side of you. After two years, the one person your trusted and let your guard down with wound up breaking your heart into a million pieces yet again.

Over the course of the next year, you go on a total of two first and last dates. None make it to see you for a second date. You don't want to go to sleep crying in your pillow. Waking up the next morning with puffy eyes. You don't want to have the emotions of yet another heart break. You decide the best way to protect yourself is to not set yourself up again to let that little naked baby with wings shoot that arrow through you heart. You don't let anyone inside your shell. Looking back over the past year you realize you've let some good guys slip right on by because you weren't ready to risk it all. One day out of the blue, one of those good guys that could have made it messages you. You start talking about different things and you decide to open up to him as to why. It was nothing to do with him.... but all about having to do with me and those walls. Thankfully he understands. He has moved on and he is happy. Sometimes it is just good to clear the air.

Dear Gentlemen....

We don't want to feel like we are being rushed. We want to be able to take our time. If it takes days, weeks, or even months... You've got to let us figure our feelings out first. If we can't realize we can trust ourselves, you aren't going get a chance for us to trust you! Just one day at a time till I know I can trust you with my fragile heart is all I ask. 

As scared as we are of getting our hearts broken again, we do want to find the Prince Charming to ride off into the sunset with. We don't want to rush into relationships until we know if they are going to work. We don't like someone in our space. We need breathing room. We need air!!! We don't like guys that come on way too strong and put us in an awkward place of feeling uncomfortable. Don't make us feel like we are being backed into a corner. We do want to give you the chance to see where it may lead.

Some of us swore off dating because it is a challenge. Remember, there's a possibility we've been single a while. We love the texts and the phone calls.

Maybe I've just met you or have known you for a while. I hope you realize, I'm not into the idea of a one night stand. So don't pressure me. Don't use those fancy words that I can read right into.  I'm not looking to plan our forever and ever amen during our first date. I don't want any kind of expectations or obligations until I know I can trust you.

I just want you to allow me to take my time. My heart is as fragile as a bright, shiny Christmas ball. It will crack under pressure. Let it fall, and it will shatter into a million pieces if no one is there to catch it.

We may radiate this sense of being invincible and a Wonder Woman of sorts... Oh, but if you could only see deep down the amount of fear we hide behind. The smiles you see hide more than you'll ever comprehend.

I am tired of making excuses of why I can't go and risk it all to see where a relationship may lead. I want to see why I can again! I want to know it's worth risking it all again. So let me simply take my time and be able to change my mind on my own terms. I'm not going to find a man I can live with... I want to find the one I could never live without.

Dear Sam Hunt.....

Finally, a man sings about what most women are scared to admit!!! Thank you for writing and releasing "Take Your Time" for women like myself who have had their hearts broken at least once in their lifetime. Thank you for understanding how some women think. If guys would understand and listen to this song, they'd get a lot more chances instead of being passed off for the next guy. The next guy is just like him and the cycle repeats itself.

Signed,
A woman who has had her heartbroken and is that woman you sing about

If you have not heard the new song by Sam Hunt "Take Your Time".... Here you go!!! :)

God Sends Angels and Rainbows To Get You Out In The Storm

God sends Angels and rainbows to get you out in the storm to make you realize He will also help you get through whatever storm you are facing in life...

Sometimes God will send you and angel dressed as a little old lady. Walking down the street with her arms loaded in groceries. Who has to take shelter on the courthouse breezeway during a quick rain shower. To get your full attention so you can be a blessing to her. 

Just the other day, I was thinking about my Tifton trip and the homeless man encounter. Then the other homeless man I bought the food for at Jin Jin's. No matter what I am facing in my life, the situation could always be worse. 

During the summer months, we are closed at the shop on Mondays so we don't burn ourselves out working six days a week. Today was our first day being back open for the homecoming season is just around the corner. This afternoon, Mom came toting in some roses my Pa Bob picked for me out of his garden. Like I have said before, it is the simple things. 

Since we were busy at the shop, I didn't have time to call him and thank him for them. So just after we closed, I called him. We were just talking away when I happened to look outside and see the big rain drops were beginning to fall. I was planning on getting my walking schedule back on tonight. As he and I were talking about my diet plans, I got up from the counter and went to the front door. As I was looking, I happened to see a little old lady walking on the sidewalk in front of the court house. She was close to 70 years old and had Harvey's bags on her arms. And by this time, the rain was really coming down. She had gone up to the porch of the courthouse to take shelter from the rain. 

I have about 40 hours worth of website work to have done by this Friday on the shop's website.  I have been working 10-12 hours a day for pretty much the last 4 weeks. I have my brother and niece relocating back to the farm with me. The past few weeks have been a test. Then I am planning on adding an hour of walking in each night just to keep the circulation flowing right. Plus to let off a little stress. 

I knew I had to get that little lady home. I could have easily let the little old lady sit there and continue to sit and wait out the storm. But, if that was my Mama or Granny over there, I would hope someone would help them too. So, I grab my keys and head out the door in the rain (you would know my FOUR umbrellas were in the truck). My plans were to drive over to the courthouse and offer the lady a ride home. This day and time, it isn't safe to pick up strangers. So I don't do this kinda stuff often.

As I am briskly walking to the truck I happen to look up over Norris' Building and I see a rainbow. To me, this let me know I was doing the right thing and God was giving me His sign of approval. Of course, I had to snap a couple of pictures. Then as I pulled over to the courthouse and offered this sweet lady a ride, she hesitated for about a minute. You could tell she was very hesitant. I promised her I was a genuine person and she finally gave in. She grabbed her Harvey's bags back up and made her way to the truck.

While she was opening the door, she told me she didn't usually ride in a vehicle with a stranger but something told her it was okay. I helped her load the groceries in. As she was buckling herself in, I turned to look at the rainbow one more time. It was now a double rainbow and was angled like it was inside my shop. So now I have God giving me a double thumbs up!! Yes, I snapped a few more pictures. 

I asked her where she lived and we started the trip to take her home. She only lived about 8 blocks away from my shop. She introduced herself as Patricia. I found out she was raised in Fitzgerald on a farm. Then her family moved to Pearson where she graduated. She attended South Georgia College. Then she moved away in the 70's to Atlanta. She moved here a few years ago. Then moved back to Atlanta. Last Friday, she decided to call Douglas home again. We made it to her apartment. I asked if she had an umbrella for future use because I could not use all four of the ones in my truck, I was going to give her one. She assured me she had one inside. She thanked me two or three times. Said it was nice to meet me. As she began to shut the door, she smiled really big and said "May God Bless you".

Had I not had the prick in my heart to take her home, I would have missed the rainbow. She was watching the rainbow from where she stood in the storm. But it made me realize in this stressful time I am going thru..... 

Whatever storm we are facing, God promised He would help us and bring us through the storm. He will send whatever form of protection to keep us from getting all soaking wet from the rain. He will shield us. Guard us. Encamp Himself around us. Even provide the means to get us to our destination safely. But He will take care of His people.

Matthew 25:31-40

31“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Balloons and Genesis...

As everyone knows, part of my business is me being a balloon decorator (aka balloon artist). I have been renamed as the “Balloon Lady” in Coffee County. As my closest family and friends are fully aware, I am a perfectionist when is comes to my bridal & formal wear shop that also extends over to my balloon décor creations. I want everything perfect for every customer. I just feel that every customer should get the best effort I have to offer when it comes to making their day and event extra special. It goes beyond just getting the order completed and a paycheck to me. It is giving it 110% of your effort to make sure it is right. It is the trust factor of you putting your faith in me to include my work at your event.  If you are a customer of mine with the balloons, usually you get a text while I am working on your décor just to make sure it is what you had in mind. Some times the text may be sent at 10 p.m.

First and foremost God sees when you give it a “throw it together” effort. He blesses you with the talent and the abilities and He expects you to use them to the highest level possible. Just like the story of the talents in the Bible in Matthew 25:14-30. I have seen a quote before about standing before God in Heaven when I die, I don’t want to have anything left because I want to use it all I can while I am still here. It is by Erma Bombeck “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything You gave me.’”

This weekend, I had the trust of two local families (that I consider friends before they are customers) who wanted me to decorate for their boys 1st birthdays. On Thursday night, I made a Mickey Mouse for Ellen & Clay Fitzgerald’s baby boy, Baby Asher. We did it in the Baby Mickey Mouse colors.  Then I delivered Baby Mickey on Friday night after I closed the shop.

As soon as I got back from the delivery, I began the décor for Jil & Jody Ridlehoover’s baby boy, Baby Joey.  For Baby Joey’s party, there was going to be a balloon entrance arch as you went thru the gates to the back yard party complete with a smiling Mickey Mouse balloon on the top to greet the party peeps! Then once you got to the party area, you were greeted by a Mickey Mouse standing outside the tent as well as a Mickey Mouse inside the tent between the cake table and the presents table.

The past three weeks of my life have been one to where I feel like I have been shackled to a 100,000 pound weight on each leg, a 50,000 pound weight on each wrist, and then the weight of the world on my shoulders. Last week was a struggle to even force myself out of the bed. Not depressed, just pure exhaustion. I have been trying to do the roles of business owner, website updater, paperwork filer, paperwork completer, customer service person, janitor, all at once. I was in overload to the point where last Tuesday night I hit the pure exhaustion overload while hitting a brick wall full force. The final straw was placed on my back that caused the camels back to break.

I went through this same feeling under different circumstances three years ago. I didn’t realize the significance of the situation until Friday night at 11:45. I have a few friends who know the details and have been my awesome support system. They have been there to encourage and to love me through it all. I have heard this in my heart when all this began and got the same text from a friend “stand still and know that I am God.” If you know me, standing still is something I can not do. I am not an idle person much. I am always going somewhere and doing something. I realized this is a test that is going to make me much stronger once the pruning process is complete. This is a faith test. Even though I felt a gazillion miles away from God, He was right there the whole time waiting on me and my stubborn self to just quit trying to do it alone. Then logging on to the Dr. Mark Chirona and Bishop T.D. Jakes ministry Facebook pages and listening to recent sermons brought everything back to perspective.

You know it is in those quiet times when you least expect it you really get a revelation from God and you hear Him…

Time to tie all of this together.

As I was working on the Mickey’s for Baby Joey, even though I have previously made six Mickey’s and Minnie’s, I still have to make sure they are in proportion. This is the perfectionist side of me kicking in. I was sitting here, just looking at the balloons and wanting to try something a little different but make sure it was the “right size” according to the height, the shoulder width, the arm length, the hands, the feet, the neck, and the head. That is when it hit me…

It took me to a place thousands of years ago… You have just spent days creating heaven and the earth… the sun and the moon and the stars...  You have created water and land... You have created every living creature, fish, fowl, and even creeping things... You have created all of this… But your greatest creation comes in the likeness of Yourself and the angels. Can you imagine being God at creation?

As I sat there staring at the balloons I had in a stack waiting to be inflated and created into a 6 ½ ft tall Mickey Mouse, yes I laughed a little. Imagine being God way up there in Heaven looking down on earth and wanting to create us humans. He wanted something perfect to enjoy the galaxy He created.

This may not be the correct way it happened, but it is my version. See I used to love to play in the mud and the dirt when I was little. Okay, I confess I still play in the dirt and those red clay roads after a good thunderstorm by my house. Only now I use a vehicle. There are things in life you will never get to old to do!

So God is up in Heaven and He comes down to earth to play in the clay and dirt a little bit to create this likeness of Him. He grabs a handful of red clay from south Georgia and begins the rolling out and the molding process begins. He rolled out fingers, toes, arms, legs, noses, ears, tongues, faces, internal organs, and spoke to that red clay ball of a creation and spoke life into Adam.

How awesome is it that God took His time to create us and make us all perfect. There is a perfect structure to every person on earth. If we are eight feet tall, our body is balanced to fit that height. If we are four feet tall, we are balanced so we don’t have the arm length of a person eight feet tall.

The perfect alignment of our shoulders to be able pull the weight. Our hands to hold on tight and get a grip so we don’t let go. Our feet to give us balance so even when we have to drag the shackles, we can still move forward. Imagine if our shoulders were two feet wider than they currently are with our body as it is. It would make life a lot more challenging. Our fingers are the right length and have all the right joints and abilities to bend to grasp hold. Our muscles. Our internal organs. Our ears for hearing. Our sense of taste.

Yes, I know we are our own worst critics and would like to change a lot about ourselves when we look in a mirror. I will be the first to admit I have a few things I wish were different. But God took the time to plan even our DNA to make us perfect in who we each are as individuals. Sure, we do things that can alter our bodies. Going back to the basics, we are all the same.

God made us tough enough to go through trials in our lives. He made us stronger than what we face. He is on our side. He created us perfectly so we could rely on Him when the battles seem too strong to face.

Here is the photo for the balloon decor that inspired this blog :)